Poor, poor, pitiful me

That's been me. I wanted sympathy from everyone. I want to whine about how much I hurt, about how broke I am, about anything that made me worse-off than other people. What the heck is that about? It's no wonder I was feeling depressed. Truth is, I do hurt and I don't know why but I do know there are things I can do to feel better. I've started my PT again and I'm doing some research. I've gotten tests and am waiting to hear the results. Honestly, I'm a little worried but really trying to focus on it not being bad news. Truth is, our finances are tight but I'm not helping so that's a change I can make to do or be better. So really I'm not that bad off.

So, I took a day to be lazy. I've watched a lot of TV and floated around in the pool. It's was so beautiful...this sub-tropical place I live. And I feel better. But then I come inside and feel like I should be doing something...it actually makes me feel anxious. Anyway, I cleaned the kitchen and am now recording some memories about the wonderful things the munchkin says :)

Soon, I'll head to the library then pick up the munchkin...maybe I'll stop and get coffee first.

I want to remember

again...I love this age!

Scene: In the kitchen about to take the dogs for a walk.
Me: Noelle, do you need to go potty?
Her: No, I went yesterday
Funniest part is she has an amazing bladder and sometimes I wonder if she couldn't hold it all day.

Scene: Everyone is in Noelle's bedroom just hanging out. Daddy is singing.
Noelle: Why are you singing? You guys are too loud!
A few seconds pass
Noelle: I'm mad at Daddy.
Me: Why?
Noelle: Because he's talking to me and because he's not nice to me and to my money.

Denial

I'm having some physical issues...decreased sensation on the entire left side of my body. I've had full bloodwork but haven't heard back. On Monday, I have an MRI of my brain. Honestly, that kind of freaks me out. I think it's more having the MRI than actually thinking anything is wrong. I'm really hoping it's a pinched nerve. I finally told my mom tonight even though it's been going on for weeks. She is, understandably, concerned especially because of the family history auto-immune disease. Here's the bottom line...I just don't want there to be "nothing" wrong or "nothing" that can really be done. I want to feel better, move better, all that stuff. Fortunately, there's no change to my cognitive or manipulative abilities.

As usual, I feel better just typing it out :)

On a lighter note: I want to remember
Daddy tapping Noelle with a rubber stick
Noelle: Mommy, Daddy's hitting me, help me, stop him
I do stop him and she runs to my other side.
Noelle: Now HIT HIM!

Noelle: Get away from my poopy (she wants us to leave while she poops)

She also has an answer for everything, even when it doesn't make sense :)

I want to remember...

Basil is staring at me and whining b/c he wants to go for a walk.
Me: Why is he staring at me?
DD: Because he likes you.
Well, of course :)

I want to remember...

Handing Noelle a Cars comic book from the dollar section of Target. I was hoping she'd be inspired to sit in the cart and read it but, no, she wanted to walk and read it. And that she did...she almost ran in to a pole and a person but I was able to steer her right. She just looked so grown up walking down the aisle with her nose in a book.