Why is it...

that I can't sleep right now? I had a VERY long few days of travel and meetings and more travel. I could have fallen asleep at any time today and the munchkin was in bed early. So, why am I not tired or able to fall asleep now? It's frustrating. I watched some TV and then my anxiety kicked in although I can't figure out what the trigger was. So, here I am surfing the net and blogging. I think I'll read a bit and see if that does the trick. If not, well, I'm going to be very tired tomorrow.

Already Getting Ready

I'm headed out of town to a far away land...for 4 days, 2 of which are air travel. The trip is a little less than a week away but I've been "packing" for over a week now. That's the anxiety. I already have everything packed in my mind. Honestly, I wish I didn't do this b/c it takes quite a bit of energy. But, focusing on the here and now really isn't a strong point of mine :) So, I might do good to write it out:

1. Check hotel for hair dryer - Yes...one less thing to pack.
2. Decided to check one small bag so I can have one carry on and a purse instead of two good sized carry ons
3. The two days not on a plane are business so I need easy travel clothes for 60-70 degree weather (Black pants & Black capris, sweater, ruffle shirt, B&W polka dot shirt, black sandals)
4. Other clothes...basics, nightshirt, lounge capris, return clothes (t-shirt & capris).
5. Wear tan capris, t-shirt, tennis shoes
6. Test DVDs in new player; charge electronics; find power cords; books

I feel better already now that I wrote it down. Maybe I can focus on my weekend now.

Doubting Myself

After a talk with the munchkin last night. She told me she liked her teachers and had fun at school. I asked her "why do you get so upset when we go?". She said, "because you leave me". I reminded her that I always come back and that I'm always with her in her heart.

So maybe things at her current school aren't so bad. I hope I didn't make the wrong decision to switch her. I'm still feeling pretty good about that decision overall...just worried about the transition. Hopefully she'll have so much fun there she'll want to go.

I'm just doubting my ability to read a situation but I will continue to trust my intuition. I do think Dh and I need to take a close look at what we might be doing to increase the separation anxiety.

Today will be a productive day...I'm determined. It's tough though because last night was a rough sleep night for the munchkin, which means we didn't get much sleep ourselves. Anyway, my to-do list for today:

1. put laundry away (done)
2. make sugar cookies (done)
3. make progress in the craft room (totally done)

Of course, there's work-work to do as well such as a conference call. Guess I better get up and get the dough mixing. It can cool during my meeting.

Been forever

I haven't really had too much to say. I've been feeling pretty good lately although the past two days my anxiety has been higher than normal. This, I believe, is due to PMS and struggling with the munchkin's daycare situation.

We're moving her in two weeks but I'm not sure we're going to make it that long. I'm really excited about her new school but I wish we didn't have to give two weeks notice at our current school. I'm struggling with how to handle it: support and encourage her without enable her type of thing. I think it's time for a good talk with the husband.

Random

Visit with Dad and Step-Mom was weird and just ok. I did enjoy seeing my friends and Godparents though. Ok, that's out of the way...now for my real post. It's odd the things that make me anxious or spiral and this issue with my friend is one of them.

Dear Friend,

PLEASE STOP telling me how broke you are. Your DH has a job, as do you, and you both receive decent retirement checks from the military and a large amount of savings/investments. It was YOUR choice to spend $20k on a new bathroom and $20k on a new car. It is YOUR choice to travel nearly every weekend.

My DH has not worked since Labor Day 2009 so it's just me supporting my family. Granted, I make a good income and have great benefits (thank God) so we're not starving and we're able to pay our mortgage BUT I'm not the one you should be complaining to about money.

Your Friend who has held her tongue so far.

I've been poor, truly poor, so poor that I didn't have food. I grew up relatively poor but never needed for anything. So, it really grates on my nerves when people really have no clue.